Today is the day to spend with the people that you love. Today is Christmas and everyone is supposed to be happy, loving and in the spirit of the season. The season that I think has been blown out of proportion.
We are supposed to be celebrating the rise of our savior. Instead, everyone runs around trying to outdo people in gift buying; seeing how much they can put themselves into debt for, all for items that will more than likely be used once or twice and then forgotten in a cupboard somewhere.
Your supposed to be around people that love you and who you love. Laughter over drinks and hugs over good food. Smiles in peoples eyes who you haven't seen in years; this is what it is all about.
This is what I miss. I miss not having someone in my life to share these moments with. The hand holding, hugging, stolen kisses around the corner under the stupid flower hanging from the ceiling.
I may not believe in our savior in the traditional sense, but I do believe in love. Love that has seemed to skip over me in one way or another. Love that never seems to find me.
My own choices may be to blame for this, but they were my choices and I shouldn't be punished forever. Forever is a very long time.
I'm desperate to be happy, crave it actually. Don't understand why it is so difficult to find someone out there who wants to be with me. I don't think that I am that bad of a person.
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