Lots of baby fun

So yesterday I went to one of my very first baby showers. I was told that you need to bring a gift and a pack of diapers, be entered in a raffle, and if they call your name at the end of the shower, you win a prize. Ok, this is a piece of cake right...I didn't know what I was getting myself into because no one ever told me what baby showers were like. So...

I talk to my BGF Monica and we decided that we were going to ride together due to lack of parking spaces at my other BGF Jana's house. I was supposed to pick her up at 11, but you know me, I show up fashionably late at 1130. (hehe) Which actually turned out in my favor because I called before I left, and when I got there, she STILL WAS NOT ready to go. LOL!!!

We take a trip down to Tukwila and head over to Target, one of the places my BGF Thais is registered. For starters, I didn't even know that they did that. I knew that you could register for a wedding, but not a baby shower. It was pretty cool. So we print out her register, which is "6" pages long and head to the baby department.

Ok, this is where I get nervous, because, HOLY CRAP do they make a lot of stuff for babies. And for a person who has NO KIDS AT ALL, I want to state for the record that this is kinda mean to make them go baby shopping. I stood there lookin kinda stupid, and looked at Monica, who does this all the time since she is a grandma, who was browsing up and down the isles like a champ!!

I kept thinking to myself: What am I going to get; What the hell is this thing with all these cords and suction cups (turned out to be a double breast pump...who knew?!?!); This toy does not really look all that stable and so on and so on. I mean really!! I am looking around 7-8 isles and I have no clue what to get. Then Monica also drops the bomb on me that I also need to get a pack of diapers...WHAT THE HELL?

Ok, now this is a totally different experience all together. Placed before me were about 5-6 shelves with an endless supply of diapers. They have some for newborns, premies, kids who are born weighing 20 lbs, kids who are walking, crawling, learning to roll over...some with leak guards, poop guards, pull ups, some with pictures, some with words, some with gel, no gel....and ones that I cannot even remember! AAAAHHH my brain cannot handle this.

I turn around because I am getting ready to have a melt down, and I see Monica casually walk over the the "Wall O Diapers", stand there for about 2 seconds, grab a pack of diapers and toss them into the cart, all the while she is giving this lady standing next to her diaper 101; telling her the best kinds to buy, the not so good kinds, and I am thinking...um HELLO standing here too. Ok, now this is where I wanted to start getting hostile...You have got to be kidding me, RIGHT???? I take in a deep breathe, trying to keep myself calm, walk over to her, she looks me square in the face and STARTS LAUGHING AT ME. Calls me a DORK then heads off with our 6 page torture device that is going to give me an ulcer or cause me to kill my BGF. However, since she picked out the diapers first, I just grabbed what she did and called it good.

Now it is time for the main event..the big kahuna, the MAIN GIFT. Ok, so why does everything pretty much look the same. I mean some have different colors on them, some may have the rainforest painted on it, but when you get right down to it, they are all the same. Then how come they all don't cost the same?? I saw a highchair that went for almost $250. What are they thinking. And the funny thing is, is that it was not even the cutest one there. They have bouncers and walkers and bouncer/walkers together, these little hammock things that the kid lays in, you hit a button, it plays music and vibrates..(hmm I wonder if they make this chair in my size.)

I walked up and down each isle, and I have to tell you, that I am really glad that I don't have more friends who are pregnant. I don't think that I could do this again so soon. There were so many things on the list, that I really didn't know where to start, so I ended up in the baby blanket isle, which just so happens to be the same isle with the baby monitors in it. Lo and behold, there was the baby monitors who name matched the one on the torture list. That is what she got. Got some receiving blankets (which I don't quite understand the whole blanket/receiving blanket/receiving cloths area either) went and found a cute bag and we made our way for the check stand. We put the bags together in the back of my truck and headed for the shower.

Ok, so I thought the shopping part was hard, yeah right. You have a large group of women who are all wearing this plastic "chupa" around their necks gunning for other women to say the forbidden word "baby". Now, if you say this word, you better brace yourself. You never know when they are going to pop out in front of you, yell "HA I HEARD THAT" scare the shit out of you and demand your chupa. How is this really fair when you barely said the word out loud? Man, these ladies have great hearing!!!

Then comes the games. The only thing that I have to say about this is that Jana's sister has way too much time on her hands. These games were so hard, that I just stared at them like they were tests from the 6th grade. The first game was that you had to match up baby names with the adult version (ie..If the adult is a dog, what would be the baby name). Who the hell knows what a baby turkey is called??? I still think that I had the best answer with "dinner". But a baby turkey is called a Polt. Now, how in the hell would I honestly know that? I still think that I should have won the prize for this game, since I did have so many great answers.

The second game, which was just ridiculous, was that you have to match up the name of a candy bar to the list of events that lead up to the actual birth of the baby. I know, just right here I get lost (ie..What was the daddies name at time of conception...the candy bar would have been "SUPER HUNK" and the actual conception part was the candy bar "SCORE") This game, I think that I got 3, but I might have cheated a little off "Lita" who was sitting next to me telling me that the breast's at breast feeding times where called Lollipops because you can suck on them. HAHAHA Oly told her that she was telling "Lito" that she was talking nasty and "Lita" just sat there laughing. I think that my Lita is probably in her late 70's and one little firecracker. LOL

The 3rd game, I refused to play. You had to open up the diapers and guess what kind of candy bar was melted into the bottom of it by, smelling it; tasting it; and feeling it. Ok, one look in the diaper and I was good. No game for me thanks, I'll be over by the celery if you need me.

Then came the present opening. She got lots of great stuff and was so excited over the baby clothes. I do admit that they are some of the cutest things that I have ever seen. And my absolute favorite is seeing babies with their big little butts from the diapers in a pair of cords, matching shirt and tennis shoes. Can't get any cuter than that.

Thais's baby shower was a great success. Lots of fun had by all the ladies, many many laughs and the thought in the back of everyones head was who is going to be next. Thank God I am not in the line up for this one.